Stop Pulling the Wagon

No government ever voluntarily reduces itself in size. Government programs, once launched, never disappear. Actually, a government bureau is the nearest thing to eternal life we’ll ever see on this earth!

Ronald Reagan

Back in February of 2015 I wrote a satirical article titled “Paperwork Reduction” with the goal of showing how a good idea can lead to a sprawling government “make work” department that starts out with a noble goal and metastasizes  into a “forever” deep state bureaucracy.  The people working in this bureaucracy are not evil.  Mostly good folks like you and I doing a job to make a living and hoping the job will never go away and they can retire to a comfortable old age. 

What gets lost in the process is what is actually being accomplished and what is the end result of their efforts in the way of practical “stuff” that benefits the lives of we citizens?  Our governments, federal, state and even local have many such departments, agencies, bureaus etc. which started out with a perceived need to solve a problem and have grown into behemoth monsters that consume huge amounts of tax dollars to operate and produce little or no tangible results from their original goal and charter.

Just to mention a couple:  1. The 158 Billion Dollar a year Department of Energy  which was formed in 1977 and was originally tasked with making the United States Energy independent.  After 40+ years of effort, we achieved energy independence for only a short period of time when the department got out of the way of private enterprise.  2. The 88 Billion Dollar a year Federal Department of Education was formed in 1980.  Why do they exist?  Education should be a state function.  There are many others.  Many of these departments and agencies have budgets in the Tens of Billions of Dollars and employees in the Tens of Thousands or more.  Ever wonder why our nations “Debt Clock” is at 32 Trillion Dollars and growing?

Do any of the above noted government departments put groceries on our table, gas in our tanks or pay our rent?  You can say yes if you get your paycheck from them.  Otherwise the tax money they take from you to run these agencies only makes the cost for these necessities of life more expensive for you.  Remember, these agencies and departments don’t make anything you wear, eat or drive around in.  They don’t have to make a profit or justify why they are there.

So, just for fun, and keeping the above in mind, I again share the following “oldie but goodie” asking only if you can justify, beyond keeping some folks employed, what this imaginary department actually accomplishes “at the end of the day” as far as the stated goal for its existence?

PAPERWORK REDUCTION

Just imagine: 

Last night I dreamed that I was working in the California State Department of Paperwork Reduction.

A wonderful place to work that was a model of diversity.  We had one of every race, creed, gender, nationality, religion, mental and physical handicap and everything else you can imagine.  Even different political parties were represented though it was rumored that the token Republican had not been seen in a while and was possibly in a 24 step recovery program.  This is California after all.

We also had employees whose only job was to act as interpreters for employees engaged in conversations in different languages.

The mission of our department is to reduce the excessive use of paper within California to help in the war against Global Climate Change.  Three Hundred and Fifty, dedicated to the cause employees occupying four floors of a state office building in Sacramento.  Working diligently three, sometimes four days a week depending on holidays, vacations, jury duty, sick leave, comp time etc.

To fulfill our mission our job is to produce a 172 page workbook every year that is to be mailed to every place of business in California.  The title of this workbook is: YOUR PLACE IN PAPERWORK REDUCTION.

Within the information packed workbook will be a snap out set of forms (12 pages) which is to be copied and distributed to every employee at each place of business. Each employee is to fill out the 12 page questionnaire, sign it, copy it and then mail back the original to the California State Department of Paperwork Reduction for tabulation and completion of a 1500 page report which is to be distributed annually to all other State Departments.

In addition a copy of the 1500 page tabulated “Final Report” will be sent to each of the businesses within California who participated.

What could possibly go wrong?  This is government at work.

Just for fun,

Bob Bandy – August 2023