Stop Pulling the Wagon

The Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic has impacted virtually everyone’s life, some in more ways than others, but all of us.

In one positive way I am reminded of the period following the attack on 9-11-01.

If any good came from the terror and tragedy of that horrible day it was that we experienced a coming together in America that was unique in my adult lifetime.

In the face of a common enemy we found a common purpose and good.

We united as a nation, as a people and as Americans. Color did not matter. Social standing lost it’s importance. Politics was forgotten – at least for a time. Neighbors joined with neighbors. There was an air of courtesy and acceptance of each other despite whatever differences we might of had before the event.

As Americans we joined hands and hearts in sorrow and in pride and celebrated our common love of country and each other.

In a similar way I have sensed some measure of that time in the current test being presented by a different adversary – this Coranavirus COVID-19.

Despite the shortages at our local supermarkets and the need, even requirement for social distancing, I am noticing more courtesy, patience and even friendly smiles among shoppers.

For the most part, we as individuals, seem to have put political disagreement and name calling on the shelf, at least for now. Many national political leaders who are generally bitter foes have demonstrated a softening of tone and been able to co-operate for the general benefit of all . Even if temporary, it’s a relief from the seeming constant drumbeat of political infighting we have come to expect. A welcome relief with perhaps just a glimmer of hope for the future.

In our area we have our own social Neighborhood Network where we communicate and share with folks in our immediate area. (I am told the Nextdoor.com app is available nationwide). What I am seeing happen makes me proud and has strengthened my faith in others. I see postings offering help to those in need. Offers to run an errand for a shut-in, help with a chore, shopping, even a package of toilet paper at a time when the stores are all completely out.

I don’t see people offering to help if you are a fellow Democrat or a fellow Republican or a fellow whatever. Just neighbors willing to help neighbors without conditions. It is a wonderful thing and makes me proud to be one of those neighbors.

This Virus “thing” shows no favorites and my greatest wish is that we could all carry on indefinitely this common goodwill feeling after this virus is finally controlled or better, history.

If you have the same desire, please share that feeling with others. I believe we would all be richer as a people if we did so.

Bob Bandy – April 2020

I first published this humor article a year ago under a different title. It was popular and copies often requested. Recent events in the news reminded me of it. Now is a time I think we could all use something to smile about. It is intended in good humor. We all need to laugh at ourselves from time to time. I have slightly edited it. Enjoy!

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Rule Number One – Smile – You can’t take these folks too seriously or it will make you crazy. Instead of getting mad it is better to keep our sense of humor and have some fun.

Let’s propose to the “Progressive Green New Deal” folks that they promote their ideas via sponsorship of a new Reality Show on television.  We could call it “Survivor Plus” and the challenge the contestants face will be called:  “The Great Green Race II”.

The plan: A race across the state of Texas for the contestants in Solar Powered Cars (similar to the one above).

The race will be from the West Texas town of  El Paso to the East Texas town of Beaumont.  Distance: 830 miles through the heart of Texas.

Each car will be decorated with Bumper Stickers and signs that say things like:  NO MORE NRA – HILLARY IN 2020 – OUTLAW ALL GUNS – SHUT DOWN ALL OIL WELLS – NO MORE CATTLE.

First contestant to reach Beaumont, Texas alive wins a free lunch with Al Gore.

Second place winner will get two lunches with all Gore.

Any remaining surviving contestants that finish the race will win a three day stay at Al Gore’s Environmentally Friendly 10,070 square foot mansion/estate/home  sharing quarters with Congresswoman and Speaker of the House of Representatives Nancy Pelosi, Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, Congressman Adam Schiff and Congressman Jerry Nadler.  Sounds like a great time doesn’t it? 

Enjoy a tour of Al Gore’s reconstructed library.  His old library was destroyed in a fire and all three of his books burned, including one he had not finished coloring yet.

Have your mind stimulated at a third grade math class taught by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortes.

Laugh yourself silly at the “Battle of Wits” between Nancy Pelosi, Adam Schiff and Jerry Nadler.  Spirited intellectual combat between three intellectually unarmed combatants.

Indulge yourself at the Environment Friendly Bar-B-Que featuring cow-flatulent-free Tofu Burgers. Yum, Yum!

Just for entering the race, all contestants will receive an Al Gore autographed 8 x 10 glossy color photograph of his Environmentally Friendly private jet.

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This was written for fun and a smile.  Some of your friends and neighbors might enjoy this.  Many folks who call themselves “Progressives” demonstrate little to no sense of humor.  Share accordingly.

Bob Bandy – March 2020

Listening to the radio the other day while I was working, I heard a purported spokesperson for California Government claim that the “Administration” came to the conclusion that our recent Proposition 13 (proposed property tax increase) Bill failed in our Primary Election last month because California voters figured that since the State had a balanced budget, even a budget surplus, the voters felt no further tax increase was needed to assist the States Schools.

Balanced budget? Surplus? California plays a “Shell Game” with tax revenues. Read on.

Choking back a “gag reflex” I remembered all the enraged voters of both parties who felt totally betrayed by previous Gasoline Tax Increases (California has the highest gasoline taxes in the nation) which had been presented by our State Government as a tax that was promised to be used only to repair our roads and not for any other purpose. “Pinky Swear Promise”.

” Now that Gov. Jerry Brown has signed into law billions of dollars in higher fuel taxes and vehicle fees, the state will have an estimated $52 billion more money to help cover the state’s transportation needs for the next decade.” Sacramento Bee April 28, 2017

According to published reports California consumes about 43,835,616 gallons of gasoline a day and each gallon is taxed by the State of California at a rate of 46.7 cents a gallon. Using a calculator this would give California a daily gasoline tax income of $20,471,232. That’s over twenty million dollars each and every day, over six hundred million dollars a month in gas tax income. source: Sacramento Bee and multiple online federal and state agency reports.

It did not take California long to play the old “Hide the Pea in the Shell Con Game” before they “redirected” (stole) much/most of the tax increase to other “pet projects” like Climate Change research. In the meantime our roads are among the poorest in the nation with potholes shaking our cars to pieces.

To say that California has a Balanced Budget with a substantial Budget Surplus is a lie of the worst sort concocted out of “smoke and mirrors” accounting. Or if you prefer: Creative Accounting 101.

California has a 1.5 Trillion Dollar State and local debt, …..much of it in UNFUNDED (my emphasis) Pension Liability. January 2019 California Policy Center.org

Private employers are required by Federal Law – ERISA (the Employee Retirement Income Security Act) – to have fully funded (money in the bank) employee retirement programs.

The State of California, like the Social Security Administration, uses the Ponzi Scheme method of depending on future revenues – use hoped for future suckers money to pay the previous suckers “ala Bernie Madoff” plan – to cover the previously collected (and spent) “trust account” money through Shell Game tax increases and “reallocation” from other programs.

Regular readers of my columns, and those that note my brief biographical data in the right margin will remember that: I am against racism in any of its forms, oppose violence, abhor hypocrisy and especially despise being lied to.

Government please stop the “Pea Shell Shuffling” and quit lying to us.

Bob Bandy – March 2020

Ladies and Gentlemen. Forgive me but I cannot see this commercial without thinking of it as a preview of a Joe Biden Presidency.

Right now it seems more likely than not that he will win the nomination of his party to run in the upcoming Presidential election as, once again the Party has maneuvered Bernie Sanders out of the home stretch lap.

It also leaves me with several thoughts and questions.

For one thing, who would be his Vice President? This is a real and very important question. Our friend Joe could be no more than a figurehead stand-in considering his rapidly declining mental acumen. It seems there is little likelihood of him serving out a full term before he is sequestered in a White House basement dressed in his Pinocchio Jammies with a cup of warm cocoa laced with his medicine.

Whoever his Vice President is will have to be someone satisfied with being the stand-in puppet for the real powers that be in the party.

“Old Joe”, as he is frequently called by his friends and supporters, seems to be slipping away from us rapidly. He often cannot remember what state he is in, what office he is running for, tell the difference between his wife and his sister, etc. etc. One can’t help but wonder if his mind and memory have perhaps exceeded their “best if used by date”.

In addition, his recollection of history is often confused. Listening to him he seems to have been a major player in so many pieces of history. Was he really with Teddy Roosevelt at the Battle of San Juan Hill? How about his driving of the Golden Spike at Promontory Point, Utah for the completion of the Transcontinental Railroad? He has so many memories of historic events in which he was a major player that it is really hard to remember them all.

Another question. Who would really be “pulling the strings” of a Biden Puppet Presidency. I suspect the Democratic Party has already lined up a consortium. Probably headed by the Clinton Crime Syndicate and the Obama Legacy Foundation coupled with other “Power Brokers” within the “Deep State”. Maybe his old nemesis “Corn Pop” could serve on the advisory team. Are you scared yet?

Do the names George Soros, Tom Steyer and Mike Bloomberg with all their power, wealth and governmental influence ring a bell? I am sure they would be glad to help finance a Biden campaign to elect “Old Joe” and then serve on the “Puppet Master” team. Now are you scared?

Now that I have planted this seed, your challenge is to watch these Geico Pinocchio commercials in the future without seeing Joe Biden’s face on Pinocchio. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to dare to share this bit of humor with your family, friends and neighbors.

Just for fun!

Bob Bandy – March 2020

Watching the Democratic Debate on February 25th between the seven qualifying candidates reminded me of the food fight scene with John Belushi in National Lampoons Animal House movie. (Universal Pictures 1978). The CBS moderators completely lost control as the candidates gesticulated and shouted over one another.

It left me, and I am sure many others, wandering what the future would look like with any one of this group in the White House?

But then, I got an idea.

Remember when the Democratic National Committee “robbed” Bernie Sanders of the Nomination in 2016 with a rule change/”Brokered” Convention and made Hillary Clinton, of “Whine & Book Tour” fame, the Democratic candidate for President?

Maybe they could do something similar with this bunch. Another Democratic National Committee rule change that would declare this group a single, but diverse political entity, sort of like a “Corporate” entity, that would be allowed to run, and if elected, serve as President on a Committee basis.

For example, Pete Buttigieg, who is often called Saint Pete, could be President on Sunday of each week. He could do his “whatever you want me to be today”, routine and wear his “What Me Worry?” face.

On Monday, Elizabeth Warren, the groups only person of color (she is 1/1024th Native American) will be President. With the stroke of her pen she can introduce her new math and implement her 2 cent tax on the wealth of the ultra rich to pay for a better economy for the rest of the country.

Tuesday, Joe Biden (who on alternate days is also running as a Senatorial Candidate) could be President if he can remember where he is for the day. He could remind us again of his victories like the time he “whupped” “Corn Pop”, the town bully who had threatened him with a piece of chain.

On Wednesday, Michael Bloomberg could emerge from his basement where he and Scrooge McDuck (who has signed a “Non-Disclosure Statement”) have been stacking and counting their gold coins and serve as our President for the day.

Thursday would be Amy Klobuchar’s day to regale us with endless reminders of her humble beginnings in the Midwest and how she has solved all the countries problems while working both sides of the aisle in Washington D.C.

Friday would give us President Tom Steyer, a Billionaire who made his fortune in the energy (Coal & Oil) business coming out and signing Presidential Executive Orders to save the planet by eliminating 90% of the coal and oil production jobs in the country so we can all sit in cold, dark rooms while enjoying a bowl of tofu and rutabaga stew.

Saturday would be President Bernie Sanders, dressed in his Presidential Santa Claus suit, serving as President and everything you ever wanted will be “Free – Free – Free”. Ninety Three Trillion Dollars worth. All paid for with paper dollars printed on his very own ATM machine which he has kept hidden behind door # 3.

It could all work. What could possibly go wrong?

Bob Bandy – March 2020

Post Script: I published this on March 1st and on March 2nd woke up to find two of these folks had dropped out. Oh well, a smaller committee as President maybe?

The above graphic is purportedly an illustration of a Victorian era Insane Asylum but I suspect it was secretly taken from sketches of our U S Congress and State Legislatures at work.

Recently I was watching an episode of “Tucker Carlson Tonight” and he did a monologue on a new bill working it’s way through the House of Representatives. The Bill is titled:

New Way Forward Act – HR5383

Following are excepts from Tucker’s monologue – the entire text is too long to reproduce here but is available online (“Tucker Carlson Tonight” -Feb. 6, 2020), as is a copy of the pending House of Representatives Bill.

Quotes & Excerpts from Tucker Carlson’s Monologue

“The legislation is sponsored by 44 House Democrats, including Reps. Ilhan Omar of Minnesota and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez of New York. At roughly 4,400 words, it’s almost exactly as long as the U.S. Constitution.”

“A document produced by Democrats to promote the bill says: “Convictions … should not lead to deportation.””

“Keep in mind, we’re not talking about convictions for double parking. The bill targets felony convictions – serious crimes that send you to prison for years.”

“But if this bill passes the House and Senate and is signed into law by the president, there will no longer be any crimes that automatically require deportation. None.”

“The bill also decriminalizes illegal entry into America, even by those previously deported.”

“But believe it or not, we saved the nuttiest part for last. What could be more destructive than changing U.S. law, specifically to allow rapists, child molesters, and drug dealers to stay in America? How about this: Using taxpayer money to bring deported criminals back into America.“

“The Department of Homeland Security must spend taxpayer dollars transporting convicted criminal illegal aliens into the United States. Who will be eligible for these free flights? Tens of thousands of people kicked out of this country for all kinds of crimes. Sexual abuse. Robbery. Assault. Drug trafficking, weapons trafficking, human trafficking.”

End of quotes/excerpts from Tucker Carlson

My first reaction to the above was that this had to be some kind of a spoof piece or satire. The U.S. Congress, or for that matter any State Legislature would have to be insane to put forth such legislation and if it did, the legislation would have no chance of passing or ever becoming law?

OR WOULD IT?

Not that many years ago, most of us would never have believed that California, New York and several other states would have been insane enough to become Sanctuaries for criminals from all over the world to migrate here with no questions asked, no paperwork or background checks and no threat of deportation or co-operation with other state or federal agencies whose job it is to protect us. But they did and are doing it. They are also making them eligible for public assistance, including “free” medical care, even drivers licenses.

New York has passed, and similar legislation is pending in California, a law for “No Bail” release of those involved in serious crimes like Bank Robbery or Criminal Assault. There is a documented case of a Bank Robber being released, without bail pending trial, and within 24 hours he committed another bank robbery. Who would have guessed it?

In another case in the news, two members of the murderous MS 13 Gang who had seriously assaulted someone were released without bail. Another new New York law requires Prosecutors to provide Criminal Defense Attorneys with the names and addresses of Witnesses. You guessed it. The witness to the crime was beaten to death by the “no bail” MS 13 gang members.

California, and some other states have decriminalized “petty” theft. Steal less than $950 in goods and the most you will get is a misdemeanor citation. There are documented cases of thieves using calculators while “shoplifting” to make sure they stay within the $950 “budget”. There are numerous reports that in cities like San Francisco the cops are not even writing citations for stealing because “those committing the crimes don’t show up in court” and are not being pursued by overworked law enforcement.

California is also a state where prospective employers can be fined, sued or even jailed if they ask employment applicants if they are here legally or if they have a criminal history. They can also be sued in many cases by customers or clients if they do not disclose if one of their employee’s has a criminal history.

Having written the above it is easy to question the sanity of our government on both a Federal and State level. They seem bent on rewarding behavior that is criminal in the eyes of most reasoning citizens.

Bob Bandy – February 2020