Stop Pulling the Wagon

TANGLED WEB

I am an independent sort of guy in so many ways.   Registered to Vote as “not affiliated” with any party.  Have issues with both the major political parties.  

At this writing it is widely accepted that the Democratic Party is in “disarray” with no clear leader and they seem to be taking “shots” at one another much as in a “Circular Firing Squad”.  

The one thing I am observing is that they hate Donald Trump and want to block anything he has on his agenda list. Outside of their commitment to stop Donald Trumps plans I am unable to get a clear picture of just what their agenda would be if they were in control.  Like, I know what you are opposed to but what would you be “for” if you were in charge?  I would like to hear specific plans with defined and measurable goals.  In many areas of interest to me as a voter I am not hearing the kind specific goals and plans that I, and most other “voters” have serious questions about if a candidate in any party wants my vote. 

Following is a list of priority questions and specific standards I have if you want my vote.  And, I don’t care what party you identify with.  

1. Since we do not allow children to get Drivers Licenses, buy alcohol, buy guns, vote, join the military or any number of other things they are not mature enough to make decisions on life altering long term “stuff” like gender status.  Do you Mr. or Ms. Candidate support their being groomed or recruited into “gender identity”  pharmaceutical or surgical procedures?  Note: I have no issue with adult Gays, Lesbians or those who identify as “whatever”.  Adults can make adult decisions.  I have major issues with those who groom or try to recruit children.  What is your position on this.  No weasel words.  Your clear unambiguous position is required.

2. This next question can be a tricky one if you claim you believe in scientific, biological and DNA facts.  How many genders are there?  If your answer is more than two you do not get my vote.  So called “Trans-Gender” is not a gender….  it is scientifically and medically “Gender Dysphoria” which is a psychological condition and not a physical gender.  This is not to say that people who find themselves with this condition do not deserve understanding and help but…. it is not a gender.  You can mutilate your “plumbing”, change your wardrobe and makeup but…. you cannot change your gender at a DNA level.

LET ME BE CLEAR – IF YOU HAVE MAN “PLUMBING” BUT WANT TO CLAIM YOU IDENTIFIY AS A WOMAN SO YOU CAN COMPETE IN WOMENS SPORTS – YOU ARE NOT TRANSGENDER, YOU ARE A FRAUD AND NO BETTER THAN A PEDOPHILE AND SEXUAL PREDATOR…   ANY CANDIDATE FOR ANY OFFICE WHO SUPPORTS THESE SCAMMERS WILL NEVER GET MY VOTE!

3. Want my vote?  Do you believe children should be exposed  to  “Drag Queen” performances that are sexually “suggestive” or sometimes even more explicit?  Children are our most vulnerable treasure.  If you want my vote you will not endorse  impressionable children’s minds be implanted with what most believe is perverted sexuality.

4. Do you think that “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion”, no matter how noble it sounds, really brings about the best and highest results?  Or is it just a “race to the bottom” and the lowest common denominator in the performance of any organization?  Try applying DEI to forming a sports team.  Do Championship teams use “DEI” in recruiting  a team or do they they seek the best, brightest and hardest working players to put on the field of competition?  Wherever “DEI” has been implemented there is a record of mediocrity at best and most often, ultimate failure.  Tell me, Mr. or Ms. (or whatever pro-noun you use) what is your “vote” on so-called “Diversity, Equity and Inclusion”.

5. Do you believe it is possible to have a true “Country” without secure borders?  Do you believe people who come into our country illegally should be given “Free” Medical Care, “Free” Legal Services, “Free” Education, “Free” Financial Aid, Drivers Licenses, etc.? Name for me three countries (okay – name two) in the world that will allow you access without documentation. The European Union tried this for a time and it was, and is, an unmitigated disaster with burgeoning sub-cultures demanding European style “Free” Social Services but unwilling to merge into the native cultures they have “invaded”.  If you do not believe in secure borders you will not get my vote, no matter what party you belong to.  I welcome new immigrants from many cultures but in an orderly, disciplined way with background checks and a plan to immerse them into our American values and way of life.

6. Instead of just being against the current Administration, tell me what you are for.  Do you believe that government at all levels should live within a budget, just as my family must live within a budget?  Do you believe that graft and corruption should be rooted out and those who have stolen from the taxpayers be imprisoned?  Do you believe that repeat criminal offenders should be separated from law abiding citizens?  Do you believe that those who enter our country illegally should be required/forced to leave?  Do you believe that able bodied citizens should be required to work?  These are just examples. 

If you want the vote of thinking voters you need to tell them your ideas, what do you stand for and believe in?  You are not going to win votes or a united opposition “Party” by just telling us how much you “Hate” the “other” side. 

In closing, I consider myself a conservative “Apolitcal” observer with friends and family in both major Political Parties.  At this point in time there seems to be emerging a “Democratic” party that is a: Hate Trump – Pro Open Borders – Pro Criminal Illegal Immigrants – Pro Woke – Pro – LGBTQ/MS13 /Tren de Argua/ANTIFA & Hate Israel/Love Hamas “rabble” that is committed to deficit spending and continued government corruption “Status Quo” until our country is Bankrupt.  This may not be accurate but it is the image being given by the “Dis-Loyal Opposition”. I hope I am wrong in my observation and see changes as time passes.

Bob Bandy  May 2025

Do you want to get rich like your Congress person or Senator is.  It is really not that difficult. First, put all your morals, scruples and integrity in a bag and lock it away somewhere it can’t annoy you.  Next pick an elected official to pattern your life after. Maybe someone like current California Senator and former Congressman Adam Schiff.

Senator Schiff has a lengthy resume of lies and perjury.  He is not a man hindered by the truth and has amassed himself a treasury of some 17 Million (known) Dollars and who knows what other plunder he has tucked away.  

Or, consider Hakeem Jeffries, Minority Leader of the House of Representatives who entered Congress with some $40,000 in debt and after six years in office has a stock portfolio worth 36 Million dollars.  Talk about good luck!

What you want to do is get yourself elected to public office like the above mentioned examples or any one of a number of other public servants who have acquired great wealth with a somewhat perhaps little known but very lucrative “second career”, perhaps as a Member of a Governing Board, or better still the Director of a Foundation or Corporation who does business with the Government.  

Here is a simple example of putting yourself on the path to prosperity: (1) Get elected to public office, say the U.S. House of Representatives.  (2) Set up a Charitable Foundation.  I could call mine:  Mom, The Flag and Apple Pie Foundation but other more creative players have come up with more “catchy” names such as the “Clinton Global Initiative” whose stated primary goal was to fight diarrhea in Africa and other worthy causes.

But, let us stick with my Mom, The Flag and Apple Pie Foundation.  I will of course be the Director of the foundation and my wife and other “friends” will all serve on the Governing Board. 

(3) Next, as a member of the the House of Representatives  “assist” in creating legislation to “Flush” ( and I use the term on purpose) several Billion Tax Payer Dollars through a created department like U S  AID (United States Aid Department) and then pilot a request that they “grant” 50 Million Dollars to the Mom, The Flag and Apple Pie Foundation to be used to encourage the “public” to be “Patriotic”.   (4) Once the money is received, as Director and with the support of the Foundations Board Members we will buy one Flag, one Apple Pie and send a card to our mothers on Mothers Day wishing her the best.  The rest of the money is paid out to our salaries and expenses such as creative “Retreats” at high end resorts and for “travel”, “Consultants”, “Personal Staff”,  “Security”, “Luxury offices”, “vehicles” etc. etc. 

To see the above as a true art form of “get rich schemes” we must look back at our friends the Clinton’s.  Example:

When Port-Au-Prince in Haiti was devastated by a massive 7.0 Earthquake in 1993 over 13 Billion Tax Payer Dollars were pledged to help rebuild the City and surrounding area.  Several Billion of these dollars were “flushed” through the Clinton Foundation to rebuild housing and infrastructure in Port-Au-Prince.  Very little housing was rebuilt and the infrastructure remains a shambles to this day but the money disappeared – “Poof” and the Clinton’s who according to Hilary left the White House some millions of Dollars in debt (her words) find themselves today worth, according to published figures, more than 900 Million Dollars.  True “giants” in the art of turning “Public Service” into a profitable career.  Editors note:  There is very little evidence that the “books” of the Clinton Foundation have ever been subjected to outside scrutiny but what little information that has been gleaned indicates that less than 10% of funds donated have ever been spent on stated causes.

Don’t want to stoop to the likes of “How Low Can You Go” Adam Schiff or the Clinton Crime Family?  Without going to the trouble of becoming a Politician you can set up your own “Foundation” and contribute generously to a “Pliable” Man or Woman already in office for their “Political Campaign”, get to “know them” and then offer them well paid seats on your “Governing Board” and let them “Shepard” the Legislation to get Tax Payer Funds to come your way. 

On a more local level you can find yourself a Conrad Blowhard Mayor who will push through a 60 Million Dollar renovation on a shoddy old hotel to accommodate 120 homeless people at a cost of $500,000 per vagrant (and co-incidentally leave his city with a 60 Million Dollar budget deficit the following year) to enrich you and his other supporters with fat contracts to enrich  your and their bank accounts at the expense of the City Taxpayers.  So, get creative at the “Public Trough” of Tax Dollars.

So, if you want to get into a profitable career and personal integrity is not a stumbling block for you, consider a life as an elected “Public Representative” or “working partner” of one.  

It is not my intent to malign the integrity and honor of all elected officials but current disclosures indicate that a high percentage of  “Politicians” are in it for the money.

Bob Bandy – April 2025

A BIT LONGER THAN MY USUAL POSTINGS – PLEASE BEAR WITH ME

IN THE NEWS – DOGE UNCOVERS BILLIONS OF DOLLARS IN WASTE, FRAUD AND CORRUPTION

Turning on the news it is almost overwhelming the amount of Taxpayer Dollars that have been found being wasted by “The Deep State Bureaucracy”.  While outright theft and fraud is surely criminal, many times the waste is founded in incompetent management and/or the tendency of any created department to want to become immortal long after their stated purpose in existing has become an exercise in futility or simply unneeded.     

Mismanagement and wasted resources is not totally the province of Government.  The following is an absolutely true story from personal experience and I will share it with you to emphasize the point.

Before I took an early retirement/exit from the Corporate World I worked in management for a fair sized company in the computer software, hardware and billing industry business.  One day I was called by one of the companies Directors and told they had an employee whom they were looking to promote but performed an important function in inventory control of many millions of dollars worth of computers and computer parts and asked me to spend some time with him to find out all he did, how he did it, what was involved and in general begin the process of finding a suitable replacement for him.  

I was familiar with this employee and knew him to be intelligent, reliable and loyal.  In working with him I found that he was responsible for maintaining an accurate inventory count of the “on hand” computer hardware, from large main frame systems to all the affiliated components including replacement parts.  His job was to do a rotating monthly hand count of what was available and produce a series of reports (from A to J) by category and distribute this report to the Corporate President, Vice Presidents, Directors and some related Managers monthly. 

After becoming familiar with his work process I decided it would be a good idea to visit with all the management personnel on the distribution list of this report and get their input on what they liked about the report and what changes could be made to possibly improve it. 

What I found out was that of all the folks on the distribution list for this report, not a single one of them ever even bothered to read it.  They all believed they were just receiving a “courtesy copy” probably of value to someone else.  They all either threw it away or recycled it.  In visiting with our Corporate Vice President of Accounting I found out that the company some years previously had automated the system with an Accounting Tracking Program which maintained the inventory on a Purchased, Sold or Scraped basis with an occasional “spot check” if a question came up.  After notifying the Director of my findings, I recommended we simply discontinue the report for 30-60 days and see if anybody in the Corporate “chain” complained about not getting it and if no-one did, to simply eliminate the position and save the $45,000 (plus Benefits) salary for use elsewhere.  He agreed and that is what we did.  I would like to say again that the employee did nothing wrong, just faithfully did as he had been instructed year after year.  He went on to become a valuable asset in his new position.  Up until DOGE I do not remember hearing of government ever doing what I have described above.  

I document the above to demonstrate that, whether in Corporate America or Government, sometimes the employee is not at fault for wasted Payroll/Budget Dollars.  Often Government and Corporations fall into a pattern of doing things from habit or routine without questioning whether the task(s) being performed are really necessary or could be completed in more efficient less expensive ways.  I will hasten to add that in my years with the company I also found waste and corruption in many other ways.  One example: employees who were kept “on board” simply because they had threatened management with litigation if terminated and Corporate Management made the “Money” decision that it was cheaper to keep that employee in a “Do Nothing” job than to pay the likely legal costs of a protracted legal battle disputing untrue but damaging allegations.  I remember one employee for example who was given the created title of “Postal Liaison Manager” whose only duty was to fraternize with the Postal Employees we interacted with.

The above is only a tame, sometimes innocent example of how Government and Corporations can waste Taxpayers and Shareholders Dollars through sometimes sloppy, but often just poor management and oversight. To get into the “Big Bucks” ratholes, pure fraud, graft and corruption you have to ask yourself how does Senator Foghorn or Congresswoman Leghorn begin their career in Government nearly broke with a Salary of $100,000+ and end up over a period of time with $75,000.000 (that’s 75 Million) Dollars in the bank.  Or, for a really screaming, record breaking example of waste and fraud, you might look at something like California’s “High Speed Rail” project which has seen 100 Billion Dollars spent without a single railcar ever moving a single mile down the track and the “Blue Sky Project” has made California a laughing stock “working” on something that from the beginning was simply a payoff to Organized Labor (especially the Operating Engineers Union) for supporting the Democratic Party. 

But not to get “off track” of the “Congressional Path to Personal Prosperity”, let us get back to Senator Foghorn.  Here is how the game can be played.  The good Senator attaches, for his vote on a piece of pending Legislation,  provision within the Legislation  for a grant (from Taxpayer Dollars) of $2,000,000 (That’s Two Million Dollars) go to a two man “Research Team” in a Banana Republic to study the effect of Transgender Surgery on Frogs with a clear, quiet, understanding from said pending recipient that a generous portion of those funds will find their way back to his re-election campaign bank account or some other “slippery” way into his “Retirement Fund”.  Or maybe a “Commission Check” (wink, wink) is sent to a numbered account at an “Offshore” Bank or Brokerage House.  Hence our Senator Foghorn, or Congresswoman Leghorn turns their “Public Service” into a “Gravy Train”.

Are they all a bunch of crooks.  No, but sadly, there is a too small a number of “Good Ones”.  And, there are also many others in positions of power who use their position to enrich themselves through graft and corruption at the Taxpayers expense.   

I would like to see Congress pass a law that each member of House of Representatives and the Senate be required to make public their financial net worth when the are sworn into office and an annual updated report of their financial net worth each year they are in office “Serving the Public”.   I know, “Fat Chance” this will ever happen.

“Do Nothing Jobs” – “Kickbacks” – “Insider Trading” – “Sweetheart Deals” 

The following is a typical example – Both Parties have many such members

Life can be good in the “Swamp”!

Bob Bandy – March 2025

LOOK FAMILIAR

PLEASE NOTE: The following is not intended to discredit the untold thousands of Public Service Employees who go to work everyday to keep the lights on, the streets safe, our children educated, Social Security checks and services ongoing and so many other essential public services needed by all of us.  This is about corrupted officials who have maintained some public agencies and departments long past their useful life and/or used their positions to enrich themselves at the taxpayers expense.

My Hero, Elon Musk, and the DOGE Crew are going where no one has dared go before and they are finding in government what too many of us have done on a smaller scale.  Overflowing Agencies and Departments, or in our case Garages and Storage Units, filled with the oft forgotten, frequently broken debris of yesteryear that for some reason we never get around to discarding or disposing of and instead pay a price to maintain year after year.  Too many Government Agencies, Departments and programs are like that.

Here is an anonymous story which tells the sad tale of how government too often works:

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert.  Congress said, “Someone may steal from it at night”.  So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.  Then Congress said, “how does the watchman do his job without instruction?”

So they created a planning department and hired two people.  One person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.  Then Congress said, “How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?”  So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people.  One was to do the studies and one was to write the reports.

Then Congress said, “how are these people going to get paid?”  So they created two positions: a time keeper and a payroll officer, then hired two people.  Then Congress said, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?”  So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $918,000 over budget, we must cut back.”

So they laid off the night watchman. (but kept the department and all other spending intact indefinitely)

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Another example taken from an article I wrote back in 2018 titled STORAGE WARS AND THE GOVERNMENT uses as an example the United States Department of Energy is excerpted below:

“Our government is filled with departments and agencies on steroids which have metasticized past their original intent and charter, have budgets in the Billions and employees in the tens of thousands.

There are dozens of excellent examples of Government Departments and Agencies that began life as a well intended, “We’ve got to do something” pregnant thought in the mind of a bureaucrat. 

One good example of how government programs become bloated, employee heavy, overgrown, self sustaining, ineffective, unnecessary rat holes for tax dollars can be seen in the U.S. Department of Energy. 

Created in 1977 it was originally chartered to make the U.S. independent from the need for foreign oil.  What it has become is a Thirty Two Billion Dollar a year, Ten Thousand plus employee boondoggle. 

What was really needed was an examination of government policies and regulations that was choking the life out of energy producers. 

Forty years and about a Trillion Dollars later the Department of Energy never met its original goal. 

We are now trembling on the verge of becoming energy independent, not because of the Department of Energy but by getting government out of the way of private market energy producers.

Are we hearing any plans to shut down, or downsize of the Department of Energy?  No!”

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Unfortunately the DOGE group are also finding waste and corruption beyond just run-a-way departments on steroids that waste our tax dollars.  Government Employees and Politicians that have “salaries” in the hundred thousand’s of dollars per year but in a few short years are multi-millionaires.  “Lucky guesses on investments/insider trading?” – “Finders Fees/kickbacks” on “paid out government grants to domestic or foreign recipients?”  “Money trees in their back yards?”  “Hit the lottery?”

I find it kind of humorous that those who are trying to stop the DOGE group are putting themselves in a position defending Government Waste, Fraud, Abuse and outright Theft of Taxpayers Dollars.

Something to think about,

Bob Bandy – February 2025

PACIFIC PALISADES TODAY

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NEVER LET A GOOD CRISIS GO TO WASTE

RAHM EMANUEL from a quote by Saul Alinsky

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Following the aftermath of the terrible Southern California fires in PACIFIC PALISADES, ALTADENA, MALIBU etc., President Trump went to Southern California to meet with Los Angeles Mayor Karen Bass and a group of City and County Administrators and other Leaders on planning for recovery of the fire stricken areas with an emphasis on rebuilding the some 15,000 or so homes that were destroyed.  President Trump was pushing for an expedited process of building permits so those who lost their homes could begin immediate reconstruction funded in large part by Billions of  Dollars in Federal Disaster Relief Money. 

Unsaid, but my impression was that the President was thinking that John Q. and Mary J. Citizen had a house lost in the fire and the City/County should “give” John Q. and Mary J. a new piece of paper authorizing them to rebuild what they lost in the fire.  My further impression was that, if my television resolution were a little better, I would have been able to see the looks of opportunity in the faces of these “Public Servants” as they envisioned the Billions of Federal Taxpayer Dollars being filtered through their “hands” so they could “harvest” a share of this money in Permit Fees, Impact Fees, Environmental Fees, Mitigation Fees, School  Fees, Drainage Fees, increased Property Taxes, etc., etc., ad nauseum.  

In plain Taxpayer terms, John Q. and Mary J. will be paying more,  in taxes and, if they have a mortgage, probably much more for a home like the one they had before the fire.  However, the City and County of Los Angeles will reap a great harvest in fees and increased property taxes.

Hard numbers are difficult to come by when it comes to Permit Fees (if you do an internet search have a lunch and calculator handy) but “new” residential construction in California begin with a paperwork fee of $5,000 to $7,000 and by the time you are shovel ready to build the total cost is in the $100,000 (or more) range just for the completed permit to let you build.  I have been told by knowledgeable sources that  the above number is even more in many areas.  Keep in mind that these permit fees are added to the “value” of the home for market and tax purposes and you will in fact be paying property taxes on the permit fees “forever”.  And you were wondering why housing in California is so expensive?

Couple the above with the fact that if any of these homeowners have lived for many years in their homes they were covered by California Proposition 13 which restricted Property Value Tax Increases to 1% per year if they maintained their property as it was when they bought it and the “State”/”County”/”Authorities” could not raise your tax rates just because home values have increased over the years.  To give you an example I will use someone whom I know well.  To protect his identity I will just call him “Bob”.  Bob bought his average residential 1,500 square foot home some thirty years ago for $110,000.  With Proposition 13 in place the County has increased the Property Tax Valuation of the property by 1% (accrual) a year and the County now values the Property at $174,000 for Tax Purposes.  If my friend, “Bob”, had done a major remodel or added on a room etc. it would have triggered a County Revaluation to current market value, lets say $440,000 and he would be paying property  taxes on the increased value.  If “Bob” sells his home the new buyer will pay taxes on the current market value.  If “Bob’s” house burns down and the Insurance Company rebuilds it then that triggers a new tax basis and the “County Revenuers” win again.  Similarly, folks in these fire ravaged areas, if they have lived there for a number of years, were being protected from property tax increases by Proposition 13.  Rebuilding now they lose that benefit and their tax rates will increase to current market values.

Soooooooo………..  You can see why the City, County and State can see the opportunity presented by the terrible losses from the fires as both a challenge and and opportunity.  A bonanza in Permits and Fees and as a bonus the increased Property Tax Base on the increase in value of the “New” Homes.  “NEVER LET A GOOD CRISIS GO TO WASTE”.

For another view of life in California living I am including below a link to an article I wrote some six years ago titled: 

CALIFORNIA’S “END AROUND” PROPERTY TAX HIKE

Still available at: https://www.stoppullingthewagon.com/?s=California%27s+end+around+property+tax 

Don’t you just love government and their ingenious ways to tax you?

Bob Bandy – February 2025

MY WAY TO REDUCE INFLATION

There is a “sure-fire” way to reduce inflation and it is guaranteed to work.  Greatly reduce or eliminate taxes and fees by “government” on those who produce the things we need to live our lives. From toothpaste to gasoline to laundry detergent to the electricity that runs our air conditioners.  Everything we need, want and buy for day to day living.  

Politicians don’t want to reduce or eliminate taxes on these businesses because they have spent years telling us these companies, producers and corporations need to pay their “fair share” of taxes.  They know but won’t admit that these companies, producers and corporations don’t pay taxes, their customers (that’s us) do.  Taxes are just another cost factor in production.  For a simple example, people in California have been educated by politicians that Pacific Gas and Electric Company must pay their “fair share” of taxes.  The company has one, and only one, source of revenue to pay these taxes.  Their customers.  They don’t have an orchard of money trees. 

The same principal applies to all of the other things we consume in our lives.  The more you tax the folks who provide what we need, the more it will cost the consumer.  This “corporate tax” is another cost of production and, in the end, the consumer pays the tax indirectly to the government.

At the risk of being redundant, whether building a house or producing a tube of toothpaste, if Cities, Counties, States or the Federal Government add a “permit” cost, a fee or a tax, and whether the cost is $100,000 on a home building permit or 7 Cents on a tube of toothpaste, the “Bean Counters” in Accounting see it as a cost of production and add it to the end price of the product being sold.  They have to pass on those taxes and fees by adding them into the end price of the “stuff” they produce and sell to consumers. 

A Business or Corporations that does not show a profit for those who invest in them goes out of business.  Some will say just tax their profits but we already do that when profits are paid out to those who own the business or shareholders are paid profits.

TAXING A BUSINESS OR CORPORATION IS JUST AN INDIRECT WAY OF TAXING CONSUMERS AND THE ONES WHO GET HURT THE MOST ARE THE WORKING POOR (EMPHASIS – WORKING).  IF POLITICIANS ARE SINCERELY INTERESTED IN CUTTING INFLATION THEY CAN DO SO EASILY BY CUTTING, OR ELIMINATING, TAXES AND FEES ON THE PRODUCERS OF ALL THE THINGS WE NEED TO LIVE – LIKE GROCERIES, GASOLINE, ENERGY, CLOTHING ETC. ETC. ETC. 

IT HAS BEEN MY OBSERVATION OVER THE YEARS THAT I HAVE NEVER SEEN SOMEBODY DEMANDING THAT “THEY” PAY THEIR “FAIR SHARE” REACHING FOR THEIR OWN WALLET OR CHECKBOOK

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To end on a lighter note, back in 2017 I wrote a satire piece about California’s never ending search for new taxes and fixation to combat Global Climate Change.  That article is reprinted below. Enjoy!

FAIR SHARE TAXES AND GLOBAL CLIMATE CHANGE

November 2017

I have information from reliable but nameless and secret sources that the State of California is very near announcement of a two fold plan for a Fair Share Universal Tax to help fund the War on Global Climate Change.

First, in recognition that exhaling releases carbon dioxide gas which is a contributor to Global Climate Change,  every resident or visitor to the State of California will be required to have a micro chip implant that will both monitor and report each time they exhale to the State of California.

This data will be forwarded to the Franchise Tax Board who will calculate the tax due and be responsible for collecting the scheduled tax from “Breathers”.  At the time of this writing the tax rate being considered is one tenth of a cent per exhale.  This may seem  a paltry sum until one calculates that the average adult respiratory rate is about 15 times per minute or 900 times per hour.  Do a little math and the average cost of exhaling in California will be about 90 cents an hour or $21.60 a day.

This tax can be avoided by simply no longer exhaling and residents and visitors can take comfort in the fact that inhaling is still free.  At least for now.

For the Second phase of this battle consideration is being given to the fact that methane is also a contributor to Global Climate Change and it is the responsibility of all of us to pay our Fair Share Tax in the battle to monitor and reduce the release of this gas into California’s breathable air resources.

It is also a scientific fact that flatulence is a major contributor to the release of methane into the atmosphere. Therefore, California is creating a new agency to monitor and tax the unwanted release of this gas.  To fund this Board and its employees a new source of revenue will be created through the establishment of a Flatulence Air Resource Tax. (FARTax)

Under development is a new monitoring device to be worn by all residents and visitors on the rear upper portion of the thigh which will sense, tabulate and report to the Board all releases of methane gas by the wearer.

The Board will then forward this information to the California Franchise Tax Board who will be responsible for billing and collecting the approved tax.  At this writing a rate of $1.00 per release is under consideration.  Think of it as an exhaust gas tax.

Taxpayers can avoid this tax by simply not releasing any methane gas through the monitored process.

The State agency for this Board is reporting some difficulty in recruiting, hiring and training workers who will be responsible for checking and monitoring individuals at random to be sure they are wearing the methane release and sound monitoring device and that it is working properly.

Formal announcement of this new Fair Share Tax and implementation of monitoring should be released through the media within the next 60 days.

All tax rates are subject to review and increase depending on Battlefield Assessment Reports from the ongoing War against Global Climate Change and subject to review and correction by former Vice President Al Gore.

What could possibly go wrong?

Just for fun.

Bob Bandy – December 2024